Happy New Year
I’m proud of myself
I was in a horrid place as the year began
And still I am here
Gosh how much I’ve done
How much I’ve learned
Holding myself closer
Being gentler with my fragile self
I am grateful I was able to take myself here
And observe the view and see what may be ahead
What can I say
But I’m excited to see what’s next
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Pleasure I’ve Missed You
What is that pleasure that courses through you
Beneath your bones-making you curl in delight
Is it the light touch of a new lover
Giggles of delight with promises of our next night
Is it the silence after-the world focusing once more
Oh pleasure I’ve missed you
How you feel on my skin
And brighten my smile
You feel light on my heart
I think I’ve forgotten how to take things as they come
I dance around in this feeling
Holding onto it as long as it needs me to
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
It’ll Be Ok
“It’ll all be ok won’t it?’ I ask
‘It always turns out ok doesn’t it’ you reply
‘The world always seems to work itself out
There maybe growing pains and things may seem upside down
Yet still the sun will rise
And further still you’ll find my smile there too
Just hold your heart gently and close
Give yourself the space to fail or fly
It’ll be ok-I promise’
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Endurance of Life
Why do we endure
The absolute misery of existence
How have we
It takes and takes
I feel like a corpse already
Bury my and forget it
It’s a low for me
I’m aware
The one who speaks of beauty and love
Unable to find it now
Fucking brilliant
But with time
I’ve moved away from this place
Understanding to be gentle to myself
Allowing myself the pleasure of existence
No matter how big or small
We endure
For the things, and people and places that lighten our life
We endure for the moments of happiness and joy
Knowing that life crests and falls
But still can be beautiful
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
I Wish I was Given Instructions
I often find myself in the most peculiar places
A result of misunderstandings
Saying the wrong thing
Or making the sub optimal choice
It is unfortunate there are no oracles in our time
To take that weight off
We are just left to find our own meaning
Learning from the mistakes already made
Trying to carve out some love
In an unloving world
With that as our only compass
Eventually we find some sort of way though
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Colliding Pieces
Life’s randomness can be cruel
Leading our paths to collision
For you to take me off guard and let me fall
Like a star from a night sky
We felt like pieces coming together
A magnetism from the earth itself
Neither of us could ignore
These words and thoughts are foolish
Problematic in the sure fact
That your love is without me
And never could be
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
A Nighttime Ritual
On your way out
Gathering your things
Cautious as to not stir the rest of the house
A quiet kiss in parting
Slight panic as my eyes close
(What if they see)
Out the door just as quietly
Promising messages and loves and goodbyes
With a click I watch you get in your car
Set your music, blackout and exit my street
With a sigh I watch till I loose your headlights in the night
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Our Love
Our love was only meant for the dark
When everyone else went to bed
Or were not home
In the backseat of your car
Away from the streetlamps
By the bluffs under a red moon
Our love was for after hours
Not the main event
Prioritizing my fear
To let someone in
Making me their home
And me making them mine
It did not fit
We could not be what the other wanted
After it all -I saw how truly messy
I’d let my house become
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Figuring It Out
I’ve found it hard to understand what I want
With other people in my head
Crowding my thoughts
With expectation and judgement
Life moves like a bullet
And I’m trying to catch my breath
Holding onto the moments I should
Fuck it’s all depressing
Is this what I wanted
What I want
I’m tired and want to fall off this world
With love
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
The Ways I Write
I write destructively
So I’ll learn how to re-build
I write about the hateful world
So I may understand how to love
I write of my sorrowful youth
To know where to find joy in adulthood
I write so this messy world becomes clearer
I write so I may change the hearts of hate
To those of kindness
I write my place within this existence
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
What Are Summers For?
What are summers for
If not for delight and pleasure
In wistful laughter
And deep sighs of rest
Away from the usual responsibility life demands
It craves indulgence to be met
For you to fall victim
To its warm breezes
Wanting you to take that chance you put off all year
Needing you to free yourself from inhibition
Do the things you’ve been wanting to do
Choosing pleasure while you can
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
To Spend My Days
You bring me under
And make me undone
By your sure will of self
To be with you is an honor
I hope to prove my worth to
Cause to be with you
Takes all those bad feelings and thoughts away
Your certainty and kindness
Easily ease and reel me in closer
I’d love to spend my days with you
If the world would allow that grace
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Cold Coffee
The coffee has grown cold
Our conversation has gone on to dizzying heights
It is clear no one can be the winner
And I want to take another sip
Just to occupy my lips
Instead of us speaking further apart
Ripping to pieces the thread that bound us
Sewing a new picture
Of strangers out for coffee
Stranger
I never thought I’d used that word on you
Looking at it now
It all seems inevitable
I risk a sip of my coffee
Cold in the unpleasant way
But still bitter to my lips and tongue
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
The Misery
Misery makes us a pair
Darkens the circles under our eyes
Wets the tissues, or cloth our faces find
Weakens our resolve that tomorrow will be better
It becomes more of a fantasy than a truth
Misery making us crumble
Arms folded around legs
Trying to shut out that stubborn world
Dripping in its misery
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Remembering
She was the one who dreamed
Built the fantastical within her mind
A resilience only the fiercest of humanity could possess
The one to save the day
Slay the monster
Rescue the people
It has been 15 years since we’ve been in your warmth
Since we’ve gotten to play pretend
Upset we didn’t have more time
To be your friend
To hug you again
To share in the weirdness of life together
Facing whatever monster that tried to ruin us
We miss you
Holding onto the gratitude of the time and memories
Of you our friend
Remembering the love you had given us
Holding it gently in our hearts
Till we get to play once more
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
In loving memory of a friend
Love is Better
Love is better when you lose control
Letting it take you to what feels right
Forgetting the noise around
Focusing on the tenderness between them and you
Twirling in that haze of care and beauty
Drunk off satisfaction and content
By love’s hands are you able to find peace
High is the feeling of love
A buoy to the soul
I wish we all could taste its sweetness
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Trying To Be
I am too much at the wrong moment
Too little in the times I need to be more
Eagerness, perhaps is considered an annoyance to them
I really shouldn’t care or overthink
But I can’t help how my mind races
How irrationality takes over
And I overdo it
Making myself the fool
I shouldn’t care
But it is hard not to
When it pertains to matters beyond the grasp of my brain
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Caretaker
Who do I call to ask this favor
To take charge of my heart
For I am truly a fool with no end
No center to keep me still or focused
I ‘m all over the place
There is no book to teach me
Or poem to tell me what to do
I figure to find someone who would know what to do
Intensity is ok for some circumstances
Same with being coy
I know no formula to make the two work
My insecurity of all of it turning away
Into the ground
Of loosing it all
I’m afraid so I hold tighter
Fall harder
So no I shouldn’t be in charge
I’ll only ruin it
You will do fine
Look after it won’t you
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
An Offer
May I protest for your heart
Fight for its closeness to mine
Sway it to a love affair
With little old me
Convince it I can give it the comfort it seeks
Fight off its self doubt
Promise mine to yours
Show my love and unwavering care
For your heart
Others wish to turn cold
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022
Somewhere New
I stumble and stupor into the world again
Learning to walk between, across and over the lines
Enjoying the spontaneity and lightness to still be found
Open to the possibility beyond wood, brick and glass
To wander and enjoy company in the unusual
I fumble with this new language and culture
I’m thrust in again
Somehow keeping me recognizable
And finding a happiness to hold to
Elizabeth Almeida ©2022