But A Chance

What do I ask for but a chance

To let all the noise fade

For the flames licking at my brain to burn out

A chance to live my life

Unhindered by the shit I’m haunted by

A past I wish was different

A present where nothing is fair

And a future to remind me I’m almost out of time

A chance for life to pass through me

Like a calm breeze in the summer

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

More Than My Words

I’ve always had the words

But not always the actions

Words are my fantasy

And actions the cold biting reality to take me out of it

It seems that all my actions

Or in-actions have always terrified me

Scared me beyond belief

To where I stay numb and unmoving

Letting possibility of something good slip away

I’m learning again to be more than words

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Never Leave Them Crying

I’m sure there’s written somewhere

To never leave a beautiful person crying

When you are there and see them

Take that time to hold their tears

Be with them through that grief

And only leave when you have their heart smiling

If only for a moment more

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Next To My Forever

I’ve waited next to my forever

Waited for them to come

Dreamt of a life we’d have

Of Sundays in

Nights entangled

Tomorrow less scary in your arms

What is forever mean

What do they look like

Their face alludes me

My imagination gets away from me

As I wait for my forever

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

In my Mind

I had it in my mind that it was all easy

That love would be easy

And life just the same

The movies I watched made it seem so

At least in the end it turned out ok

I seemed to have blocked it out in my mind

The Heartache and tears

The bittersweet taste life leaves in your mouth

I had it in my mind

That I had it all figured out

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

My Mornings With You

A coffee in hand

And you on my lap

I take slow sips

Allowing the feeling of warmth to move through me

It gives me more time for my eyes to linger

On the lines, the bumps, the many shapes of you

I still hold my coffee as I grab onto you

The deep scent of my drink lingers

On the places I’ve kissed you

And we have forever for this moment

The world need not disturb

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

I’ll Wait For It

I am excited to have that capital R romance

Where forever is enough

We are excited for the day to day

To be with each other

Showing another the little loves

And the big loves too

I can’t wait for lazy Sundays

For dancing in the kitchen till it’s late

And our feet are sore

To talking about what’s on our minds

Holding each other close when we need it

That is something I’ll wait for

I know it’s there

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Balled Fists

You ball your fists

Trying to punch through the pain

Close to breaking skin

I need another feeling

Can’t stand this sickening feeling

Through my fingertips

I could maybe find release

A distraction from the unrelenting want

To punch through

And rage against this fucking world

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Divine’s Chosen

Heaven escaped her lips

Would I be quick enough to catch it?

I dance around her

Feeling lifted by just having them around

The world moves slower and more deliberate

When you hold my hand

Heavenly warmth on my palm

There is nothing more divine

Than being within her grasp

To be hers

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

It Rained Again

It is just rain

It cleans the air

Cleanses the caked up dirt

Cool to the face

Refreshing to the soul

It reminds you that it is all temporary

Fleeting as it passes through your hands

You know sometime soon

There’ll be sun again

Warmth on your face

Longer nights as well

The rain just stopped by to say ‘Hello’

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

The Short of It

They fell in love on a bad day

It hurt in a good way

Tears swept up in the moment

It was too late to say sorry

Too early to say if it will be ok

In-between all possibilities of yourself

In each of them you can be sure

You are now alone

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Forever Offered

Forever was offered

But I chose right now

No one could promise me tomorrow

Let alone forever

So I chose today

This moment

While I still have it cupped in my hand

Forever lies with us now

It’s important we heed its call

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

White Noise

My mind is full of white noise

Buzzing and bruising

From lobe to lobe

I can’t shut it up

I can’t release that nagging sound

Tensing me, putting myself on edge

I hate the things it says to me

I hate agreeing with it too

Release me from it’s scratching tone

Leave me alone

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Love is Enough

Say what you will

But there is nothing more we crave

Than love

Love of family

Given or found

Love of another

Platonic or romantic

Love from ourselves

Quietly or loudly

Love in its unselfish ways

Love in its absolute form

Could really save us all

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Hiding -I’m Hiding

I could never fully explain why I hide the way I do

When I see the blinding light coming my way

All thoughts and feelings leave me

And I am left in the panic of feeling nothing

So I dodge before I am hit

It wouldn’t be off to say I’m just scared

That I’m a coward who wants to be un-related to the world

For a long time

I’ve wanted to escape

I don’t know what I need to run from

But I feel my feet wanting to flee

As far as it can go

I have a good life

But I have yet to name the monsters chasing me

There is no face or title to look for

They are lurking just out of reach

It makes me crawl deeper in myself

To shield and hide how I truly feel

Thinking the monsters won’t see

Eventually grow bored and leave me alone

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Love Remembered

I hold you closer at night

For I am afraid what the day may bring

And if this is the only peace I am granted

Then I will hold you as tight as I can

Squeeze a little to remind you I am there

Kissing your back

Saying the I love yous my voice can’t

When my day is tough and lonely

I will remember you silently sleeping in my arms

The safety of love undisturbed

Knowing it’ll be ok

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

I’m Yours

I’m already yours

I’ve surrendered to the idea

That no one would come close

The one face I think of during a bad day

Your voice the only sound that seems to calm me

Your love

The only thing I want to fight for

Before you can say more

I’m already yours

To whatever degree you’ll have me

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

A Soft Day

Here is another day I face

I’m unsure what it will give

Or what it may take

If it’ll feel long or short

Will I smile or cry

As my head rests on my bed

I don’t know what this day will have

But I know to carry myself softly

Through it all

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

A Game

I hate the game

Of things to say or do

The taboos in which to avoid

I hate the stepping around the other

Not knowing to to storm forward

Or retreat

I hate wanting

Making yourself a fool

When they would never give you the time of day

I hate how my mind bends itself around

Making it harder to forget

Or ignore the pull they have on you

I hate how they go

And I am left to question

To stay or move this forward

I hate this game to find my love

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023

Sometimes I Need A Reminder

Maybe I have more healing to do

That is all ok and good

Shouldn’t we all be aware of what we need

For me I try to give myself the gentleness I crave

And have been starved without

Acknowledging the sickening spirals

My mind loses itself in

Remembering to breathe slowly

Love loudly until it’s felt

And to understand

A good day may only be a morning away

Elizabeth Almeida ©2023